Photo of Mrs. Boyes, Middle School Counselor

As we gear up for CMAS and end-of-year testing, it would be fitting to touch on self-esteem and positive self-talk. Whether we are in the midst of a busy time of year or just navigating middle school, self-esteem and the way our students talk to themselves play a crucial role in their overall well-being, academic success, and social interactions. We want to partner with you to foster a positive and resilient mindset in your students!

Middle school is a time of significant physical, emotional, and social changes. Students are increasingly aware of themselves and their peers, which can sometimes lead to self-doubt and negative self-talk. Developing healthy self-esteem and practicing positive self-talk are essential skills that will benefit them now and throughout their lives.

Why are Self-Esteem and Positive Self-Talk Important?

Increased Resilience: Students with healthy self-esteem are better equipped to cope with setbacks, learn from mistakes, and bounce back from challenges.
Improved Academic Performance: Believing in their abilities can motivate students to try harder, take risks in learning, and persevere through difficult tasks.
Stronger Relationships: Positive self-perception often leads to greater confidence in social situations and healthier relationships with peers and adults.
Reduced Anxiety and Stress: Negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of anxiety and stress. Replacing these thoughts with positive affirmations can have a calming effect.
Greater Overall Well-being: Students who feel good about themselves are generally happier and more content.

How You Can Support Your Child at Home:

Here are some practical strategies you can use to encourage healthy self-esteem and positive self-talk with your middle schooler:

Focus on Effort and Growth: Praise their effort, perseverance, and the progress they make, rather than solely focusing on the outcome or grades. For example, instead of saying "You got an A, you're so smart," try "I'm so impressed with how much time and effort you put into studying for this test."
Help Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts: When your child expresses negative self-talk (e.g., "I'm so bad at math," "No one likes me"), help them identify the thought and question its validity. Ask them for evidence and help them reframe the thought in a more balanced and positive way (e.g., "Math is challenging for me right now, but I'm working hard and getting better," "I have some really good friends, and sometimes it just takes time to connect with others").
Encourage Self-Compassion: Teach your child to be kind and understanding towards themselves, especially when they make mistakes. Remind them that everyone makes mistakes and that it's an opportunity to learn.
Celebrate Their Strengths and Talents: Help your child identify their strengths and talents and provide opportunities for them to pursue these interests. This can boost their confidence and sense of accomplishment.
Model Positive Self-Talk: Be mindful of your own self-talk and how you speak about yourself. Children learn by observing the adults in their lives.
Listen Actively and Validate Their Feelings: Create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings without judgment. Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don't agree with their perspective.
Help Them Set Realistic Goals: Encourage them to set achievable goals and celebrate their successes along the way. This builds a sense of accomplishment.
Limit Exposure to Unhealthy Social Comparisons: Discuss the nature of social media and the importance of focusing on their own journey rather than comparing themselves to others.
Encourage Healthy Habits: Promote activities like exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep, which can positively impact their mood and self-perception.

We are here to support your child's social and emotional development. If you have any concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.